Forbidden Rice Salad

I’ve had some pretty interesting jobs to date, some would call it a bit of an eclectic mix, but I call it a buffet of fun.

Started out as a babysitter first, but then when I was ready to be a working gal my first “real” job was mall guide extraordinaire, yep that’s right, the nerd that you see standing next to the map directing traffic to each and every store, that was me, I knew where everything was in Square One and had the fun task of helping lost shoppers find their way. Only it was during Christmas so this job was actually zero on the fun scale because people in malls at Christmas are JERKS!

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But the best part… they sat me right next to the Laura Secord store so my entire shift I got to watch people eat ice cream and chocolate. You might as well hold an AA meeting outside of an LCBO.

cow crumbs, gluten free, dairy free, forbidden rice, beet salad, Or there was the time I worked in the prepared food section of a grocery store that shall remain nameless. My training consisted of the following: when the food starts to look old and dry just add a little hot water to it. Mmmmmmmm reconstituted mashed potatoes.

I also worked very briefly for Tim Horton’s, aka the all you can eat Timbit buffet. First day on the job I was told that I could eat alllllllllllll the donuts I wanted and initially that sounded like a pretty great perk. But after an hour of Timbit popping you don’t want to pop Timbits no more.


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Then there was my two year stint as a waitress / “nasty girl”, nothing like coming home and telling your parents guess what I got a job at Philthy McNasty’s and my uniform looks like it came from baby gap, actually to be fair only the t-shirt did, we were allowed to wear jeans, no orange spandex thank gawd.

BUT if you worked Super bowl Sunday you had to dress up like a cheerleader, I guess this made the guys feel like they were actually attending the game?

4i9EAadETI got cut early one year and went to surprise my boyfriend at a party he was at, but when I arrived and rang the doorbell some dude I had never met opened the door and without missing a beat yells back to the group, “who ordered the stripper”, to which my boyfriend yelled back, oh hi honey.

But 100% the job that takes the cake (and a part of my soul) was when I worked as a personal assistant / hungarian babysitter to a film producer for almost 3 years. You know that movie the Devil Wears Prada… I lived that. Private jets, walking red carpets, meeting celebs, all in a days work. I was even asked out on a date by Alec Baldwin once while at a film festival in the Hamptons. Turned the poor guy down though what can I say; I’m not into Schweddy Balls.

There are other stories, but I’m saving those for my tell all book. But one thing I can share is a delicious recipe that I inherited while living in LA from a personal chef friend of mine. He told me this was a JLo’s fave, and if it’s good enough for Jennifer Lopez then it’s good enough for me.

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Forbidden Rice on Greens with Beet Dill and Walnut Salad.

Serves 2 (with rice left over)


1 cup Forbidden rice (makes 3 cups of cooked rice)
1 ¾ cups Coconut milk and water (1 cup water and the rest coconut milk)
2 large handfuls of Arugula
2 large handfuls mixed greens
Handful of Sprouts (sunflower are my fave, but any kind of sprout will do)
Olive Oil
Toasted sesame oil
HOT sesame oil
1 tbsp. Soy Sauce
2-4 large Beets
Handful of Dill
Coconut oil
Handful of Walnuts
1 Avocado

Ok first things first lets get your rice cooking. In a medium size sauce combine your rice, coconut milk and water and bring it to a boil. Once boiling, cover and allow that to simmer for about 30 to 35 minutes. You want all of the liquid to absorb into the rice and for the rice not to be all wet, because really who wants to eat wet rice.

Next we are going to get your beets in the oven because they’ll take about as long as the rice. Peel and chop up your beets into decent sized pieces, you don’t want them too small or they’ll just shrivel up and die in the oven and you don’t want them too big because they’ll take forever to cook. About the size of an apple if you were to cut it up and eat it (I hope you all cut apples like I do)

Toss your beets in a little bit of coconut oil (just enough to lightly coat) and onto a pan lined with parchment paper and then into the oven at 400. You’ll know the beets are done when you can pierce them with a fork easily.

In a large salad bowl toss your arugula, mixed greens and sprouts. Now because the rice has quite a bit of flavor I only dress the salad very lightly. So just a little bit of both olive oil and balsamic is all you’re going to need. When your rice is done toss in the soy sauce and mix until combined and while your beets are still hot and just out of the oven mix them with the fresh cut dill and walnuts.

Now it’s time to plate up your meal, first up on the plate, your salad, next you’re going to top that with the forbidden rice. I like to add the sesame oils on at the very end, I only do a sprinkling of each but add as much or as little as you like, this is one of those to taste ingredients. Then throw some beets on your plate, chuck a half of an avocado on there and dig in.

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JLo approved

2 Comments Add yours

  1. This salad looks tremendous! ! would like to order one please. I would like to have it delivered in your philthy mcnastys uniform with a side of timbits. You can Bring Alec too:)

    1. Cow Crumbs says:

      Be careful what you wish for 😉

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