Remember a time where instead of spending hours upon hours of gazing at a glowing phone screen, we use to pick them up and hold them to our ear and then call one another?! You know what else I remember… Prank calls!!! And I’m not talking about the classic call and hang up. Oh no no no, as a kid I took this “prank” to another level. FYI I was A LOT younger, and clearly had a bit too much time on my hands.
Now I know most of you kids have probably never been to a thing called a public library, but back in the day we use to go to this big building to borrow books. I know?! Crazy! If you decided to take one home you’d use your library card and then the countdown would begin, you could borrow each book for about two weeks before it had to be returned to avoid the late penalty fee. But the library had a messaging service that would call and leave you an automated voicemail to relay if your book was due back or overdue. LIGHT BULB!!! This became the perfect scenario for me and best friend Trish as a prank call opportunity.
So allow me to set the scene… two young bored girls, an unsuspecting schmuck, plus this was pre caller ID days, so there was no way to screen or call back.
“Hello, this is the Mississauga library calling….. please hold” (at this point we would put on a classical music station and play a little violin concerto, made it seem a bit more legit, because clearly the library had hold music???) After a lengthy intermission we’d come back and drop the name of whoever we were targeting, ex boyfriends were our favourite prey. ________________ you have one overdue book, please return Thomas The Tank engines great adventures at your earliest convenience. GOOD BYE!!!” Of course we picked the coolest book, and rocked the sexy nasal voice so there was no way of telling who it was.
I’m not sure why but this brought us soooooooo much joy, and truth be told we only pulled the prank once, but dude had it coming to him. Boys, NEVER mess with a chicks best friend!!!
Speaking of pranks and pulling a fast one – this cashew alfredo sauce would trick any dairy loving fool. Although the idea of it may sound like the impossible feat, it blew my mind how easy it came together.
1/2 cup raw cashews
1 garlic clove
3 tbsp nutritional yeast
1 cup unsweetened almond milk
1 tbsp lemon juice
1 small onion
1 tbsp avocado oil
So let’s get cracking… first you need to boil some water and soak your cashews, this allows your nuts to soften up which results in a smoother creamier sauce. I let mine soak for about 25 minutes. Plus who doesn’t love a good soft nut???
While your nuts are soaking, heat up your oil in a pan and sauté your onions, you’re going to be adding these to the blender, but if you’re not an onion fan you can absolutely skip step.
Now we have soft nuts, sautéed onions, and the rest of your alfredo ingredients. First drain the water from the cashews, then toss everything else, onions and all, into your blender and blend on high for about 3-5 minutes.
The weird thing is that once it’s blended the consistency is like cashew milk, but don’t panic, this bad boy thickens up in no time flat and made for the creamiest dreamiest sauce. You just need to warm it over whatever pasta concoction you plan on making, and I may have actually licked my plate clean.
Zucchini noodles, broccoli, peas and roasted chicken, the cashew alfredo was like the cherry on top. And you just wait… plate licking is a side effect.